THE GUTTER

13 pints in 13 pubs. I have completed the infamous Longridge pub crawl, but where am I now? Sitting up after a drunken slumber on a gravelly path. I see a red flashing and slowly the rear light of my bicycle comes into focus. I push myself up to stand and though the cold night air sobers me my legs are unfeasibly uncoordinated. I stagger forwards and find support on the brick wall behind my bicycle. A wave of nausea sweeps over me and my head throbs. I close my eyes to compose myself as the damp seeps through my shirt. I stagger to the bicycle and wheel it onto the tarmac road. I climb on and meander from one side to the other. Snaking along I progress. I miscalculate and veer into the ditch. My front wheel dips into the abyss and I somersault over the handlebars and splash down on my back. Lying in an icy pool I gaze at the starry sky. I see the constellation of the swan and close by the bright star Vega. The thin body of the dragon curves around the Little Bear who’s tail leads to the North star. A faint hum in the distance slowly becomes the sound of a car approaching. The bright headlights wipe clean my romantic view of the heavens as the engine thunders close by. The car pulls over as my eyes adjust. The door opens and closes and I hear footsteps approach. The paces stop and a dark figure looms above me. A man’s voice “ Are you alright ? ”. I consider the question and cannot decide how to answer. Aware of my delirious state the man takes my bicycle and moves it to the hedge further away from the road. I sit up and decide to follow the initiative. I shuffle back and lean on the hedge. The hawthorns pierce my skin as I find support in the branches. The man returns to his car and drives away. I now have a different view of the stars. The striking profile of Leo the Lion twinkles on the horizon. Mars glows red as he edges past the bright star Regulus. The temperature falls and once more I take up the challenge. I mount my sturdy velocipede and describe a slightly less parabolic curve along the lane. I encounter no cars until I reach the main road and carefully cross into the village of Broughton. The streetlights light my way as I pedal along the pavement. I turn down Oaklands avenue and into my father’s driveway. I park my bicycle and turn off the rear flashing light. In through the back door and up the stairs to the safety of my bed. At last I lay down to sleep.



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